I recently injured my knee and needed to have my ACL repaired. Starting physical therapy and re-learning how to walk is humbling, but the patients at the physical therapy center are so inspiring.

All the therapists at the center wear t-shirts that say “1% better every day.” And I’ve learned that this is a good mantra, not just for physical therapy, but for most things in life.

Right now, you are working towards something. It could be a degree, a promotion, a new business, a better relationship, saving for a big vacation, or even processing grief. Nothing happens overnight. The only thing that will get you to your goal is consistency. Get up every day. Do the thing. And get 1% better every day.

When I first met my husband, he was very dedicated to his workouts. 3-4 times a week, he would lift weights, without fail. Now, we have a 16 year old and he still works out 3-4 times a week. He’s as fit and healthy today as he was when we first met. He doesn’t work out because he wants to or even needs to. He works out because it’s who he is. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s honored his commitment to be 1% better every day.

1% + 1% + 1% times 365 days a year is a LOT of progress. Eating 1% better today than you did yesterday, means that you will be over 300% better by the end of the year. Improving your business by 1% every day, will mean exponential growth by the end of the year.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

How do you become the person you want to be? 1% at a time.

1% is barely noticeable. Until it compounds. In one month, you will look back and be shocked by your progress. But only if you commit.

I hope you will. I hope that you will wake up tomorrow with a plan to be 1% better. And then do it again. And again.

I can’t wait to see who you will be at this time next year. Go get it.

Photo by John Arano on Unsplash

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The post 1% Better Every Day appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

As I pulled up to the drive-thru window of Starbucks the other day, the employee handed me my drink and said, “Have a fun day!”

She didn’t say “have a nice day or “have a good day. She changed one small word and lifted my mood instantly.

We are each given 365 days a year. We can make those days bad days, stressful day, angry days, nice days, restful days, happy days, swipe through social media days, catch up with a friend days, workout days, or productive days.

We can also make them fun days.

We spent the day playing games, drawing, watching RuPaul’s Drag Race, getting ice cream, and making great memories.

Would we have done that if she said “have a good day” instead? I don’t know, but flipping the switch and encouraging me to have a fun day worked.

Make something.

Turn off your electronics.

Go somewhere you’ve never been.

Eat something you’ve never eaten.

Laugh.

Dance.

Stop caring about what other people think.

Life should be fun, because why not?

To the Starbucks employee, I say thank you.

And to you? Please! Go have a fun day!!!

Photo by Lidya Nada on Unsplash

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The post Have a Fun Day appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

Last week, my family went on a trip to Sedona, Arizona. If you’ve never been there, it’s spectacular. As you drive north from Phoenix, the red rocks pop up on the horizon and demand your attention.

They are breathtaking.

The hotel we stayed at offered spectacular views of Sugarloaf Mountain. I drank them in every morning like coffee and soaked them up every evening like a warm bath. Before we left, I decided that I wanted to take a photo of the view so that I could hang it on my wall at home and always have that view within my reach.

I took a photo. And another. And another. Each time, the image wasn’t even close to what I was seeing with my eyes. I saw red, amber, peach, coral, rust, champagne, fire orange, and scarlet. I felt a depth and power that gave me a sense a calm.

But my picture was flat. It looked brown and dark red. It didn’t inspire me at all. Yes, it captured an image of the mountain, but in real life, it was about a million times more beautiful. No matter how hard I tried, the picture didn’t match the beauty of the mountain.

People are the same.

When my daughter takes a picture of me, I quickly see the 15 extra pounds, the frizzy hair, and a woman that looks older on the outside than I feel on the inside.

But when she looks at the picture, she says “Look how cute you are!”

She is seeing the actual mountain. I am seeing the flat image. She sees ME. I see a cheap knockoff.

As women, it’s common for us to look back at a years worth of photos and see just a handful of photos of us. This could be because we tend to be the ones taking the photos (so we aren’t in them) or it could be because we only want to be photographed at our best.

Whatever the reason, take the picture.

The photo will never reflect how amazing you are. It can’t capture the fire in your spirit, the sound of your laughter, or the depth of your compassion. It’s simply a replica, an imitation. But it’s also a trigger that sparks all the emotions they felt when they took it. They will remember how it felt on that day. The picture is the spark, not the fire.

You will never be able to capture the beauty of the sunset over the ocean, the unbearable tranquility of your child sleeping, the joy of your mother dancing, or the vibrance of a butterfly resting. Pictures can’t do that.

Take them anyway. And allow them to open the door to your memories.

Take the picture.

Photo by Jimmy Conover on Unsplash

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The post Take the Picture appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

Yesterday, I was sitting outside doing some work on my laptop. I was working hard and being very productive.

Then I got an alert.

Your battery is running low. You might want to plug in your computer.

Since I was working outside, I couldn’t plug in my computer and continue working. I had to plug it in and go find something else to do.

And I quickly realized how much can be learned from that one small alert.

We don’t have notifications in our heads that let us know when our own batteries are running low. We need to be in tune with our bodies and minds so that we know when we need rest. We need to create habits that keep us fully charged at all times.

Are you getting 7+ hours of sleep a night?

Are you remembering to eat healthy meals or snacks?

Are you drinking enough water?

Do you ever power down and sit outside for an hour?

Are you all work and no play?

We aren’t computers. We don’t go dark when we don’t properly refuel. We can keep going for quite a long time without recharging.

We can.

But we shouldn’t.

Plug yourself into a good book. Charge yourself up with a cool drink on the front porch. Rewire your hardware by having a great conversation with a good friend. Use your vacation time.

Don’t wait for everything to crash.

Recharge.

Photo by Hernan Sanchez on Unsplash via www.StillsByHernan.com

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The post Don’t Forget to Recharge appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

In a world where you can be anything you want, I hope that you realize that whatever you choose to become or whatever the world allows you to become…you are enough.

Society has created benchmarks where we can check in to see how are we are measuring up.

Do you have the right job title? The right jeans size? The right zip code? The right logo on our makeup?

Guess what? You do.

Because you are enough exactly as you are.

Scratch that.

You are amazing.

You are amazing when you chat with your friend until she no longer feels lonely.

You are amazing when your co-worker makes a mistake and you tell them that you’ve done the same thing…more than once.

You are amazing when you cook a three course meal, grilled cheese sandwiches, or order out because you are just so tired.

You are amazing in your stretchy pants that are two sizes bigger than they were last year.

You are amazing when you sing loudly and imperfectly to Bohemian Rhapsody.

You are amazing when you make someone laugh, when they feel like they will never stop crying.

You are amazing when you drink green juice for breakfast, eat Cool Ranch Doritos for lunch, or live on coffee…just coffee.

You are amazing when you break the rules…because life is more fun that way.

You are amazing when you listen, really listen.

You are amazing when you do nerdy things, creative things, or athletic things.

You are amazing because of who you are.

No labels. No measuring sticks. No keeping up with the Kardashians.

Just you. Amazing, wonderful, you.

You. Are. Enough.

Photo by Vince Fleming on Unsplash

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Every morning, we are given a brand new set of 24 hours that we can use in whatever way we choose. We can work. We can sleep. We can pay bills. We can clean the house. We can play with our children. We can talk to those we love.

And we can create.

Finding time in your day to create something that didn’t exist previously, allows you to take your world and make it bigger. You have the power to expand the universe…to make it more beautiful, more colorful, and more memorable.

You can use paint, pencil, words or sound to give birth to something beautiful, weird, or wonderful.

And the creation that you make will then do something amazing. It will re-create you. It will turn the weeds of your heart into breathtaking daisies and the dark clouds in your mind into shockingly bright skies.

Art can do that. And it’s been influencing humans for over 40,000 years. It’s what people do to connect ourselves to the earth and to each other.

Find a quiet space or a chaotic space and sink into it. Let the quiet pull the art out or let the noise stir the art inside you. But find the scattered pieces of you and turn them into something tangible.

Turn your spirit into substance.

Draw it. Write it. Photograph it. Paint it. Play it. Build it. Sing it. Dance it. Film it. Act it. Mold it.

Create it.

Create something new that wasn’t there before.

Photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen on Unsplash

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The post Create Something appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

There are almost 8 billion people in the world.

That’s 8 billion possibilities for human connection. 8 billion people who could hold your hand when you are sick. 8 billion people who might laugh at the same weird things that you laugh at.

But most of them won’t. And that’s ok.

Find your people.

Over the course of your life, you can count yourself blessed if you can find a handful of people that you can crack yourself open in front of and they won’t even flinch.

You can tell them the awful thing you thought, the crazy thing you bought, or the dreams that you sought…and they won’t judge you at all.

These types of friends are rarer than white peacocks and exponentially more precious. When you find one…never let it go.

Gather up your bad date stories, your big juicy life goals, and your most painful parenting fails and find someone who will listen to it all, laugh at it all and cheer you on through it all.

The number of “your people” will probably be small. Rather than having a yearbook filled with dozens of people saying, “Have a nice summer. I hope we have more classes together next year, ” you may have just a few people write paragraphs of memories and inside jokes on the front and back pages.

Quality over quantity. Friends over followers.

These are your people. Find your people.

Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

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The post Find Your People appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

Everyone has a highlight reel. You see it every time you log into Facebook or Instagram.

It’s the beautiful oceanside vacation. The happy baby and her beautiful mother. The flawless selfie. The winning soccer game.

It’s called the highlight reel because it only captures the very best moments.

But there is a lot that goes on that doesn’t make it into the Instagram feed.

The delayed flight. The lost luggage. The fighting family. The screaming baby at 1am, 2:15am, 3:30am, and 4:15am. The 25 not so perfect selfie’s that were deleted from the camera roll. The frantic parents eating fast food in the car on the way to the third soccer game that weekend.

None of those are Insta-worthy.

You don’t see the mess, so you mistakingly believe that it doesn’t exist. But it does.

Nobody posts pictures of their credit card bills, their defiant teenager or their acne.

But that’s real life. And it’s ok.

It’s fun to scroll through and see the wonderful things that are happening in our friends lives. Yes, their vacation was fun, the baby is adorable, your friend is beautiful, and the winning goal at the soccer game was spectacular. It’s all true, but as they say in the courtroom, there is the truth…and there is the whole truth.

You Instagram feed? Not the whole truth.

Don’t compare your take 1, take 2 and take 3 to someone else’s perfectly filtered final cut. I promise you, they left a lot on the cutting room floor.

A LOT.

Enjoy their highlight reel. Like it, love it, and give them all the support in your comments. Then meet them for lunch and talk about the truth…the whole truth.

Photo by Jordan Whitfield on Unsplash

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The post Don’t Focus on the Highlight Reel appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

Three years ago I wrote a blog post called The Girl in the Rearview Mirror. I wrote it because I was watching my 7 year old daughter’s image change daily as I looked at her in the rearview mirror.

Three years have passed since that time and I’m still watching her reflection change. The one thought I have every time I see her face is, “she is absolutely the most beautiful girl in the world to me.”

My mother-in-law passed away last year and I recall that every time we would visit her, she would look at my husband (her son) and just say, “let me look at you.”

I get it now.

There is nothing more beautiful in the world to a mother than the faces of her children.

Nothing.

At this moment in time, I am lucky enough that I get to see her face in the rearview mirror every day. I get to watch her do her homework. I get to see her laugh with her friends in the backyard.

But these days won’t last forever.

One day, that beautiful face won’t be in my life every day.

I’ll miss her smiles, her late night questions, her messy room, and her hair bands on the coffee table.

I’ll miss our spontaneous trips to the ice cream shop, holding hands in the parking lot, and footprints on the back of my seat in the car.

I’ll miss hearing her voice every day and laying on the couch on a lazy Saturday reading books and watching TV.

But most of all, I’ll miss her face.

Because it truly is the most beautiful.

Photo by Ana Francisconi on Unsplash

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The post The Most Beautiful appeared first on Advice for My Daughter.

Life is exciting, colorful, and yes, difficult. Just when you think you’ve got everything under control, an obstacle will write itself into your perfectly planned story.

Friends will let you down. Companies will let you go. Illness will creep its way under your skin and threaten you in ways you never knew possible.

But you will rise to the occasion. Because you are a warrior.

A warrior isn’t necessarily a winner. There will be times that your fight leaves you in a puddle of tears and shaking with exhaustion.

And you will rise up to fight another day. Losing a fight doesn’t mean you’ve lost the war.

Some battles you will win with ease. I hope these wins are plentiful and joyful. But your character will grow the most in the battles that you lose.

Sometimes you’ll win. Sometimes you’ll learn. And there’s a lesson in every loss. Dig deep and find that lesson.

What may surprise you is that some of the greatest challenges you’ll come across won’t be from friends, family, or colleagues. Your biggest adversary is often yourself.

Inside your head, there is a whirlwind spinning around. It’s a tornado filled with ideas, to-do lists, and worries. And deep in the center of that storm is a voice that is telling you to give up. It tells you not to take the risk, not to make the change, not to follow the path that you want so desperately to follow.

This voice is your greatest enemy and the hardest challenger to conquer. It will give you a million logical reasons why you should be safe, why you should not forge your own path, why you should stick with the crowd.

Fighting this voice is what separates the passive participants from the ultimate warriors. Warriors don’t put on sneakers and walk down the paved path. They lace up their hiking boots, rip down barriers, and bring a first aid kit to patch themselves up along the way.

Listen to your heart. Listen to the butterflies in your stomach. Listen to the tiny little voice that is whispering quietly to you to do something different. Stay with the struggle. Fight through the explosion of voices in your head that are telling you that you are too average, too inexperienced or too whatever else that you aren’t.

Straighten your spine and rise up.

Fight for the you that your five year old self wanted to grow up to be. She’s never stopped believing in you.

You are a unique combination of experiences, skills and emotions. Don’t silence the whisper in your head. Turn down the volume of the detractors so that your true voice can be heard.

Be difficult. Challenge norms. Question the status quo. Cause a ruckus. Have guts for miles.

Be a warrior.

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

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